


Finding God

by McKayRulez



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alien Mythology/Religion, Atheism, Awesome Teyla Emmagan, Baptism, Christianity, Episode: s03e14 Tao of Rodney, Gen, Hurt John Sheppard, Near Death, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Prayer, Religion, Religious Discussion, Soul Selling, Soul-Searching, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 16:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18472924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKayRulez/pseuds/McKayRulez
Summary: John is dying, and Rodney is out of options to save him. In his desperation, McKay's forced to turn to the one thing he's never expected.Prayer.





	Finding God

Rodney was a man of science above all else.

Belief in the supernatural or the possibilities of gods or goddesses had always been the furthest thing from his mind. In fact he would consider himself an atheist, if he actually cared about that type of thing. This was only furthered after the Stargate Program. 

The Goa’uld, the Ori, even the Wraith had their worshipers. All false gods, with evil intent. There was never a real godly magic power, just technology and intimidation. The good aliens with mythological lore like the Asgard, where just scientifically advanced races. Even Ascension was just the next evolutionary step to turn the body into energy. Not some heavenly afterlife. 

The rest of the alien religions usually where imposed by unanswered questions of life, nature, natural phenomenon, and healing. Like an earthquake seen as a sign of an angry god. It was one of the reasons McKay had a hard time on away missions. So many questions could be answered by science, if only they could understand it, and it was frustrating to see. 

A personal religion for him to seek out never once popped into his head, because all he needed was science. Some might say he’s seen so many first hand ‘miracles’ that he should have found religion long ago. All those times a last second idea suddenly occurred just in the nick of time, in which the day was saved, never seemed to him like ‘divine intervention’ at the time, as others may have perceived. Just a lucky stroke of genius. Impossible could take a few minutes, but it was always doable in the end… True, that happened unusually often for him.. But he was a scientist after all, so why not? His last minute mentality never failed him. 

At least not until these past few days… 

\--

Rodney stared through the quarantine glass at John’s pale ghostly figure as he laid on the medical cot. He was dying, and there was no mechanical miracle Rodney could provide to save him this time. 

Carson and Keller worked tirelessly in their hazmat suits. Overlooking readings, taking blood samples, gazing through the looking glass of a microscope. All sorts of blood tests. 

Nothing. 

It had been three days and their progress had lead to absolutely nothing. 

Whatever alien disease this was, that was so casually caught on an away mission, was seemingly resistant to everything the doctors threw at it, and John had run out of time. 

Everyone had tried everything they could. 

Teyla, Ronon, Major Loren’s team and all the other AR teams, tried multiple planets, trying to find a village that might recognise his symptoms and lend aid. The search hadn’t led to anything yet, and finding the right planet was a needle in a haystack of Sheppard’s many mission records. As it was, Carson and Keller had no idea when he was infected, or how long it could have remained dormant, or just not showing any symptoms before finally springing to life full force. 

Rodney found that crazy at first, but he had to be horridly reminded of his second childhood, and how that thing that was inside his brain could have been living inside him for years as well with no ill effects, until one bad cold set it spiralling down hill. 

Other examples of how everyone was pulling together included the botanists, who looked though there categories of plants, trying to work on herbal medicines. As well as the oceanographers, who checked the surrounding oceans for any potential chemical culprits in the water supply. The SGC, while not an advocate for the sarcophagus, due to the mind altering nature of it, was still on the lookout for one during their away missions. Even the Athosians where visiting and camping on the mainland, doing some rituals for Sheppard’s well being. 

Rodney, Zelenka and his crew had been looking through all known ancient devices to see if Sheppard had unknowingly triggered anything that may have caused it, but after a full in depth search, they found nothing. They looked through the remains of the Ancient database, that as well was a dead end. They tried to find ancient medical devices that could help. Still nothing that was useful against the disease. Everything they tried ended in more and more dead ends, and less time left to keep trying. 

Regardless of the impossibility, everyone was pulling together, to do something, anything, to help him, and now that Rodney had exhausted all his own options he felt helpless and hopeless. 

He stood with the rest of his team outside quarantine, after they came back from their latest off world attempt. “There has to be something more I can do...” Rodney lowered his head in his hands. “But I can’t think of anything!” 

Teyla mirrored his helpless pain and placed her hands oh his arms, placing her forehead to his. She pulled back from him with great sadness. “All we can do is keep trying.” 

“But I don’t know what to ‘try’ anymore!” Rodney snapped loudly, then winced and looked away. “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright.” Teyla consoled. “We’re all on edge.” 

“I just..” Rodney looked distant and miserable. “I just need some time alone to think.” It was always his job to save everyone at the last second. It was his responsibility to his team. He could do this. He just needed inspiration to strike. 

Teyla looked reluctant to watch him leave in such a rueful state, but made no attempt to stop him. She went to Ronon instead to talk privately. 

Rodney’s feet took him to his room. He was exhausted. Three days working nonstop without sleep. Anxiety and despair eating away at him, only making his lack of energy worse. 

He fell back against the bed. He was too tired to move the sheets or change out of his uniform. All he could do was stare at the ceiling above. 

He wanted sleep. He craved the blissful hours of unconscious escape from the horrible reality he had found himself in, but at the same time he reviled the thought. What if the time he slept was when John passed? Let alone all the hours wasted on sleep that he needed to find his next idea. No. No, he had to stay up, just a little longer. There had to be something he could do. There just gotta be. 

He laid there for a while. His mind drawing blanks. After a while he started to think, if he himself couldn’t come up with any ideas, he’d just have to not think like himself. Something outside his realm of expertise. He thought of the doctors, the pharmacists, and everyone else. The problem was, if they couldn’t come up with something in their own field, how was he supposed to? 

He closed his eyes, as hopelessness took hold. As the minutes ticked by, one last crazy thought came to him. Normal people usually pray in these types of situations. 

He let out a short laugh, and decided sleep deprivation was leaving him delusional. 

Prayer?.. Some hope filled thoughts in your head? What good would that do in the physical world?

After a few moments of staring quietly at the ceiling, he shook his head and sighed feeling stupid. Talking to a wall. What’s next? Asking Teyla to perform some Athosian spirit ritual? 

However, as he laid there, no other ideas came to mind. He was useless, and everyone was doing all they could… Shouldn’t he leave no stone unturned? Even the impossible? 

….

Finally, he decided it couldn’t make things worse, so he might as well give it a shot, as ludicrous as it might be, for John’s sake. 

He opened his eyes and stared above him at the ceiling. He wasn’t exactly sure how prayers were supposed to go, but he was pretty sure just demanding something probably wouldn’t sound right.. Maybe.. Maybe a compromise? A transaction? The whole thing felt silly, but he pushed it away, for Sheppard, and took a deep breath. 

“Look.. If you’re up there… Um.. Sheppard’s a great guy. He sacrifices himself everyday to save people on other planets he doesn’t even know. He’s also a great leader and.. Well.. I’m not sure what any of us will do without him.. Uh, don’t tell him I said that, it’ll go to his head..” 

Rodney frowned hard looking down. A look of worry and desperation in his eyes.  
“Anyway, uh.. Please save him. He doesn’t deserve to go out alone like this… Um.. If.. If you save him.. I’ll uh.. Believe in you?.. And uh.. Convert or whatever..” 

He looked up at the ceiling. 

“How does that sound? His soul for mine? A deal, alright?” 

After a few minutes, his eyes began to close. 

“Just give me something to work with.” He begged. 

Just as his eyes were about to close, his eyelids suddenly spang open as an idea flashed into his head.

“Oh my god!” 

He sat up stunned and wide awake. 

“It worked!?”

\--

“You want to do what?” Keller stared at Rodney confused, as he stood in front of the doctors, handing them a tablet that depicted his plan. 

Carson’s eyes flickered over the schematics. He recognized them instantly. “McKay, we’re not using the ascendance machine. It’s mortality rate is too high for me to be comfortable with this.”

“I know I was a one in a million case, to have survived that.” Rodney raised his hand. “So that's not what I’m suggesting. What I’m saying is why don’t we use the DNA part of the machine to revert Sheppard’s health to how he was before the sickness.” 

Jennifer frowned. “Could we actually do that?” 

“We managed to revert my brain to how it was prior to all that ascended neural growth. If we could reset my body from near ascended death, to that of an ordinary human, why not make a similar change with just a sick one to a healthy one? We just need his DNA prior to his sickness and a few major tweaks to the machine to get it working again.” 

Zelenka pushed up his glasses, and chimed in as he looked over the tablet sceptical. “The machine wasn’t built for that purpose though. It’s like turning a microwave into a fridge. They both deal with food, but very different purposes with it.” 

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but I know I can make the arrangements.” 

Jennifer knew Rodney was grasping at whatever he could, so she looked to Zelenka to be more reasonable and unbiased. “Can it be done?” 

“Of course it can!” Rodney stated with his hands on his hips, offended at her doubt of his abilities.

“Well.. Yes… But it would take some time to modify the device.. Also the machine is currently calibrated to McKay’s DNA. We’d have to manually change it to Sheppards, strand by strand.” 

“How long?” Carson asked. 

Rodney and Radek looked at eachother. A silent debate within their eyes. After a moment the scientists spoke aloud. 

“Three days.” Zelenka responded. 

“I can make it two.” Rodney stated confidently. 

“Not with how tired you are. You’ll make a mistake.” Radek retorted. 

“I won’t mess up! This is Sheppard’s life weren’t talking about!” 

“Which is exactly why we need to take this slow and careful.” 

“Time is something we don’t have.” Keller admitted. She looked to Carson, then back to the science boys. “His body is failing.. We have him on life support but.. At this rate.. He’ll be dead by tonight.” 

Rodney shook his head. “Can’t you just put him in stasis?” 

“We’ve been doing all we can running tests. We need his body active to get proper results.” Keller replied. 

Rodney glared. “Yeah, well your work is going nowhere fast. This can actually save him!” 

“You don’t know that.” Keller sighed.

“Maybe we just need some faith.” Carson admitted. Rodney could almost laugh at the irony. 

\-- 

Three days past. 

Rodney rubbed his dry eyes. He had been staring at genes and machine coding for hours upon hours straight, and now it was finally going to pay off as he entered the last sequence. 

He stretched and leaned back in his chair. His heavy head turned to Zelenka, who was slumped over his desk clearly exhausted as well. 

“It’s time.”

\--

Sheppard’s gurney flew down the halls at breakneck pace. Carson was on top of Sheppard performing CRP against John’s hazmat suit, as a snuggly fit air pump was constantly squeezed over Sheppard’s slack jawed mouth inside the helmet. 

Rodney watched John as they arrived. His eyes were closed, hair askew. His sickly pale skin, clashing against the stark red of the containment suit, was caked in sweat from his high fever. He looked so defeated. McKay hoped to never see him like this again.

Ronon picked up the motionless body and placed him down on the machine and quickly stepped back. The machine turned on, and a white blue light swirled over head, then wrapped itself around Sheppard’s body. It’s coronal glow illuminating Sheppard’s insides as it worked it’s searing light into his flesh and blood. 

Soon after, the light detangled, and retracted itself back into the machine from which it came. Sheppard opened his eyes and looked around. “What’s going on?” He questioned slowly, muffled under the air pump. 

Carson knelt next to him, running his scanner over him carefully. 

Teyla tilted her head concerned. “Did it work?” 

After a few moments, Carson looked up with a relieved expression. 

Rodney smirked. “It worked.”

\--

John was taken back to the medical wing, for further testing, just to be safe. 

Ronon was watching him like a hawk in corner, leering over him like a protective guardian. Teyla brought Torren for a visit, and McKay sat at his bedside, staring intently at a laptop. 

It felt good to finally be in the company of his team again. No longer separated by glass and metal walls, unable to hear their words of encouragement and promises that he was going to beat this thing. 

At some point between the needle pricks, blood pressure cuffs and blips of the heart beat monitor, Sheppard had finally fallen asleep. The past few days had been torture for him, and he was happy to finally get some relatively pain free rest. When he awoke he found it was early morning, and McKay was still sitting in the same spot he had been previously. A hand under his chin as he scrolled down the laptop’s results on his lap. 

“McKay?” 

He jumped startled by the sudden voice. His heart beating a mile a minute. “Oh! You’re awake! Good.” 

John looked around the quiet hospital room, unsure what to do. He had been stuck with the doctors for so long with nothing to do, except fight for his life. Now he didn’t even have that. He looked back at McKay, who was concentrating hard on his reading. “What are you doing?” He asked, knowing McKay’s babbling could distract him at least for a few minutes of boredom. 

“Oh, uh..” Rodney flushed and closed his laptop screen, hiding it away from Sheppard’s prying eyes. “Nothing. What are you doing?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Oh.. Right.” McKay gave a forced slant smile. “Of course.” 

Sheppard stared at McKay’s nervousness for a moment, then quickly snatched his laptop. 

“Hey!” McKay yelped, as his hands scrambled against Sheppard’s protective arm, as he opened the lid. The screen flashed on and Sheppard stared at the results confused. 

It was a list of religions. 

Sheppard gave him a weird look and handed the computer back disappointed. When Rodney said nothing Sheppard continued to stare at him, making him uncomfortable until he opened up. 

“Okay, okay, I’m looking up religions. Stop looking at me like a weirdo!” Rodney huffed exasperated. 

“Yeah, I can see that.” John frowned. “Why?” 

“Why?” McKay flushed. 

“Yeah.. Why? I always took you for an atheist.” 

“Well uh..” Rodney looked to the side awkwardly. “I kind of..” He fidgeted nervously. “Made a deal with god to save you.” 

Sheppard’s frown lessened, to one of confusion. “What?”

“You see..” He bit his lip looking at the ceiling. “I made a deal with god that if you lived, I’d get ‘redeemed’.” Rodney looked back at John, his face dark red. 

Sheppard blinked. “Huh..” 

“‘Seriously?” McKay’s expression of embarrassment, turned into one of being genuinely offended. “I literally sold my soul for yours, and all you have to say is, ‘huh’?!” 

“Well..” John looked to the side. “When you put it that way.. I guess that was… Nice?” 

“Exactly! A simple thank you would be appreciated!” 

John looked at his friend bewildered. “Okay.. Thanks.. But didn’t your machine save me? Not some ‘god miracle’.” 

“Well.. yeah.. But.. It was a god or goddess thing this time, okay.” 

“McKay, you pulling out miracle ideas out of nowhere is kind of your speciality. I’m not sure why this time was any different?” 

Rodney shook his head determined. “I only got the idea, after I prayed. It was divine inspiration. I’m sure of it.” 

“Oooo… kay…” John wasn’t sure he could argue religious inspirations. It really was out of his league. 

Rodney sighed and moved his hand about awkwardly. “I know it was a ‘god’ thing because of how it saved you.” 

“Because of the convenient timing?” 

“No! Well.. I mean that’s part of it, but no, that happens all the time! That’s nothing new!” 

“I.. I just don’t get it..” 

“The machine.. It dealt with your DNA… I had to stare at it for hours and something I never noticed before just..” Rodney snapped his fingers. “Clicked.” 

“What was it?” 

“DNA… It’s…” Rodney moved his fingers around each other as he tried to explain. “It’s like coding. You know, it can tell us everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, your ancestors. It’s a full blueprint of you.” 

John nodded. “Yeah.. And?” 

“Well, coding doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It has to have been written by someone.. So, by that logic, someone must have written our ancestors coding to?” 

John blinked. “And that was.. god?” 

“Yeah, or at least some type of advanced being created our ancestors, but then who created that being? What about that being’s creator, and then that being after that?.. By extension, it would be infinite, so my only conclusion has to be a ‘god’.” 

John watched him carefully. “McKay..”

“Hmm?” 

“When was the last time you slept?” 

Rodney looked dismissive and shook his hand defensively. “Look, it sounds crazy, hell I thought it was crazy my whole life! But I’ve changed my hypothesis and I’m sticking to its conclusion based off of the evidence I’ve seen these past few days. That’s what scientists do, right? They respect the data. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“Okay, okay.” John gave in realizing McKay really was sticking to this. “Sorry.” 

“Anyway...” Rodney’s eyes flickered back to the laptop. “I only have one problem now.” 

John raised an eyebrow and teased, “Only one?” Rodney gave him a hard serious look. “Okay.” John relented. “What is it?” 

“I don’t know which god I made a deal with.” 

\-- 

Rodney flicked through the list on his laptop carefully. 

“Mormonism?.. Isn’t that the one where you get a ton of wives in the next life?” 

“McKay, you’ll be extremely lucky to get one wife, let alone multiple.” John snorted.

“Hmm.. Yeah.. Good point.” Rodney marked that one off the list. 

“What about Buddhism and Hinduism.. Aren’t those ones about reincarnation or something?” John asked. “You could turn into a real squirrel next time.” He teased. 

“John, this is serious.” Rodney frowned as he stared at his laptop. 

“Hey, I’m just saying, I already turned into a bug. It’s your turn.” 

“Turning into a flagisallus could be cool. I could be friends with Sam.” 

John frowned. “I thought you hated whales.” 

“Whales and Space whales are two completely different things.” McKay reasoned. “Space whales are actually nice and don’t try to eat you.” 

At that statement, Sheppard really was starting to question just how sleep deprived McKay truly was. 

Rodney shook his head. “Well, anyway, I think you have to meditate in those religions and I’m bad at that type of thing…”

“Well, what have you eliminated so far?” Teyla asked trying to be helpful. Rodney had invited her since she was probably the only person on Atlantis who never judged peoples cultures or religions. She wasn’t Dr. Jackson of course, but she had the most experience of anyone in Pegasus when it came to dealing with this topic in her trading travels. 

“I’m not going to be Catholic because of all their scandals recently, and I’m also not going to join religions that Sheppard’s government considers to be terrorism and get harassed because of it.” 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” John nodded. 

Teyla tilted her head as she held Torren. “Is there any that’s standing out to you?” 

“Maybe Jewish. They have an interesting history, not to mention a very smart and inventive background… They had a ton of brilliant scientists who made a lot of inventions…” He tapped his laptop in thought, then added sadly. “ But l would have to eat kosher.” Rodney looked heart broken. 

“What about Scientology?” Sheppard asked, he pointed at it. “It’s got ‘science’ in the name. That sounds cool.” 

“Too expensive to learn.” Rodney replied. 

“Jehovah’s Witnesses? You like talking a lot and telling people what you think.” Sheppard teased. 

“Don’t you have to go door to door for that? Sounds like too much exercise.” 

John rolled his eyes. “You could use some, McKay.” Teyla gave him a warning look. 

He scrolled through some more. “Oh, this one looks easy.” 

“Which one?” Teyla asked, looking over his shoulder. 

“Christianity.. It looks like I just have to accept Jesus and that’s it. I get to go to heaven.” 

Sheppard frowned. “There has to be more to it then that.” 

Rodney’s eyes scrolled over the blurb and shrugged. “Looks like Jesus just did all the work dying for your sins and rising again. Just accept him and bam! Sins forgiven and your saved.” 

“Are you really just going to pick whichever one is easy?” Sheppard asked incredulous. 

Rodney huffed and rolled his eyes before he looked to Sheppard. “Look, last week this was not even on my radar, okay? I wouldn’t have even thought to do this. Besides I got a busy schedule saving the world and all that. Easy sounds perfect right now.” 

John frowned. “I don’t know..” 

“Hey, this is my choice. If you want a different one that’s your business.” 

“What? No. I never said I was picking a religion.” 

“Sure, you aren’t interested..” He gave him a smug look as he eyed him. He then looked back down at the laptop. “Anyway let’s see.. I just gotta say this prayer and I’m done. Got it.” 

“And you have to mean it.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “I do mean it.” He stared at the prayer and the little stock photo image of the person praying on their knees, and took a deep breath. “Okay.” He got off the chair and used Sheppard’s bed for support as he knew down. He clasped his hands together and closed his eyes for a moment. Saying the words in his head. When he opened his eyes, Sheppard was staring at him. After a second, Rodney’s eyes widened. “Wait!” He suddenly got up, wincing t the pain in his knees and then grabbed Carson’s health scanner from his desk. He ran it over him and frowned. “Damn.” 

“What’s wrong?” Teyla asked confused. 

“I should have scanned myself before the prayer, then did it aftward to compare the results, to see if there was a change.” Rodney looked at Sheppard. “Do you think I could do it over again?” 

Sheppard gave him a weird look, and Teyla looked sympathetic. 

“You know, renounce Christianity, then rejoin right after? Is that a thing?” 

“I don’t think that’s how religion works...” Teyla responded slowly. 

“But then I’d have the evidence!” He looked between Teyla and John desperately. 

“I think religion is suppose to be based on faith..“ Teyla tried to help. 

“Right.. Not by ‘evidence.’” Rodney huffed, exasperated at the lack of science in this ‘faith thing’. “But how else will I know if it made a difference?” He gave her a desperate look. 

Teyla could tell this was very important to him and wanted to encourage it. After all, on all their missions together, McKay had always been so dismissive to the spiritual side of the cultures they visited. Sometimes even being down right rude. Maybe with this new found interest it could really help him sympathize with others and find something out about himself? 

She looked down trying to think. “Well…” She looked up at him. “Do you feel any different?” 

Rodney blinked and took a moment of self reflection. “I… I guess?.. Maybe?..” 

John tilted his head teasingly. “Probably just hungry.” 

“Wait, no.” Rodney raised a hand defensively and closed his eyes. “Give me a moment.” 

Teyla watched him quietly as she lightly bounced her baby. 

After a minute, Rodney opened his eyes. “Yeah. I feel.. Different.” 

“Different how?” John asked skeptical. 

“Well I.. I guess..” He took a deep breath and rubbed his chest with his free hand. “I feel like a weight's been lifted.. I don’t have to worry about dying and turning into nothingness.”

Teyla smiled. “That’s good, Rodney.” She praised trying to be supportive. Sheppard rolled his eyes. 

Rodney’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!.. Yeah, that is good isn’t it?” He looked to John. “What about you?” 

“What do you mean, what about me?” 

“Well.. Do you still feel.. Healthy?..” 

“I feel the same, McKay.” 

“Good, good.” Rodney nodded. 

“Why?” Teyla asked curious. 

“Just making sure my choice didn’t make the other religions gods mad, so they’d take it out on him. After all, I really don’t know which god I made the original deal with.” 

John blinked, then looked to Teyla. “Are we sure we should let a hypochondriac get religious?.. What if he becomes paranoid?” 

“I’m not paranoid!” Rodney crossed his arms offended. “Just..” He squinted, his eyes scanning over Sheppard. “Being careful.” 

Teyla looked to Sheppard with a hesitant smile. “Don’t worry.. He’ll be fine.” 

“Riiighhhtt… McKay? Fine? Since when?” 

“Ha, ha.” Rodney replied sarcastically and unamused. “Laugh at me all you want, but you’re alive, I’m saved, my work is done.”

As McKay started to leave, Sheppard kicked back in his bed and smirked. “So.. When’s the baptism?” He joked. 

“Baptism?” He repeated. He stopped like a deer in headlights. Rodney turned and gave John a blank look. “What’s that?” 

\---

John didn’t think McKay would take his comment seriously... 

He was wrong. 

So very, very wrong. 

\---

A couple days later, with Sheppard finally released from observation, the team found themselves eating in the mess hall. 

Rodney held a cup of water and a bible to Teyla. “Take this, read something out of this and spill this on my head.” 

Teyla looked down at the items, then slowly took them confused. 

“What’s that for?” Ronon asked as he shoveled some food into his mouth. 

“A baptism.” He answered simply. 

“What’s that?” Dex asked again. 

Sheppard shook his head and answered. “It’s a Christian religion thing.” 

“Actually!” Rodney grinned and pointed a finger excited. “Christianity is more of a ‘relationship’ with God, than a religious thing, but yes, baptism is a ‘religious’ thing.” 

“You know.” John motioned to the water cup. “I might not know anything about Christianity, but I’m pretty sure, that’s not how a baptism works.” 

Rodney shrugged. “Well, it’s not like I got a pastor here to tell me what to do, do I?” 

“Ask someone back on Earth to google it for you.” 

Rodney’s eyes brightened and he looked excited. “Did you know the people who invented google were of Jewish descent?” 

Sheppard squinted at him. “You still wish you went Jewish don’t you?” 

“Maybe..” McKay looked guilty, then added quickly. “But I can’t give up pork!” 

John shook his head exasperated. Ronon looked clueless. 

“Rodney.” Teyla looked at McKay with a sympathetic smile. “I think if you want to go through with this, it has to be done the right way.. Don’t you think so to?” 

Rodney frowned. “I guess…” Then sighed. “Yeah okay.” 

A few weeks later, SG-1 visited… 

\---

“IT’S COLD!” Rodney whined, as he stepped into the waves on the mainland. 

Colonel Mitchell crossed his arms, looking determined. “To bad. This is how it’s done.” 

“How do you know that?” Teyla asked curious. 

“My grandma was a bible thumper. Her church sometimes went to the bay to do baptisms. I’d get to go as a kid and play in the sand.” He recalled fondly, as his thoughts traveled back to his past. 

Sam frowned as she watched the pale, blue eyed scientist shivering. “I can’t believe he’s actually doing this.” 

“I know.. That’s why I brought a camera.” Sheppard teased and he took some snapshots. 

“No, I mean, I never thought McKay of all people would get religious.” Carter clarified.

Radek raised an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s a middle age crisis?” 

“I’m not that old!” McKay complained. 

“Your birthday on your medical records would state otherwise..” Carson muttered as he messed with his fishing equipment. 

McKay decided to ignore that, because it was his best friend. “So..” Rodney looked around, rubbing his arms that were now full of goosebumps. “What do I do now?” 

“You get baptised.” Cameron stated the obvious. 

Rodney blinked and looked around the waves blankly. He looked back at him. “How?” 

“Well.” Cameron blinked. “Someone baptises you.” 

McKay stared at the shoreline. No one was moving. “.....” He waited. Still nothing. “Well… Anyone?...” 

Everyone looked at eachother. 

“I would help, but I do not understand what to do.” Teyla admitted. Ronon grunted in agreement. 

“I didn’t bring a spare change of clothes.” Radek stated. 

“Me neither. I only brought my fishing gear.” Carson added. 

Carter just shrugged. 

Teyla, Ronon, Radek, Carson and Carter looked to Cameron expectantly, he sighed and in turn looked to the rest of his team. 

“Pass.” Vala looked to the side disinterested, as she thought of her time as a Goa’uld and her Ori daughter. “I’ve had enough of gods to last a lifetime.” 

“Yeah..” Cameron understood and looked to Dr. Jackson. “Daniel! Get in there!”

He looked up from his table confused. He was currently enthralling himself in Atlantis’s latests findings, and completely oblivious to the predicament in front of him. “What?” 

“You know all about religions and cultures. Go-” Cameron waved his hand in his direction. “Baptise him.” 

“I’m busy.” 

Cameron and Daniel stared hard at each other, trying to erode the others will by intimidation alone. Teal’c watched them confused. 

“Guys.” Rodney sneezed and groaned. “I think I’m getting the flu out here.” He sniffled and then added annoyed. “Could you just hurry up?” 

“Dr. Jackson. If you explain to me what must be done, I could be of assistance.” Teal’c offered. 

“You sure, T?” Vala asked concerned. 

While he was a free Jaffa and had despised his people following of their Goa’uld false ‘gods’ in their past. It didn’t mean other races couldn’t follow their own beliefs. Besides, at least this ‘god’ for McKay was invisible and not imposing their dictator ways on everyone against their will, like the Ori. It was a free choice. 

“I’m fine, Mal Doran.” 

Cameron looked relieved that he didn’t have to get into the freezing water for the weird nerd. “Yeah, Teal’c. You go out there.” 

“What!” Rodney whined. 

Teal’c, without a second thought, stripped off his clothes and Rodney’s eyes went big as he looked at his muscles intimidated. 

“I.. I don’t know about this..” 

“Don’t worry, McKay. T won’t break you….” Cameron smirked and added, “Probably..” Rodney gulped and shivered. 

Daniel pulled Teal’c aside and quickly told him what to say and do, then got back to his reading. 

Teal’c trudged into the freezing ocean waves. McKay was shivering like a leaf against the chill and the way he had stalked into the water, only made McKay even more brittle and shaky. They traveled down further into the ocean. 

“Dr. McKay.” 

“Uh huh, yeah, that’s me.” McKay babbled on warrily. His eyes anxiously looking up and down the muscular man. 

“Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and saviour?” 

“Pretty sure I already did that step, but yeah.” He answered nervous and shook. “Yes.” 

“Then in accordance to our lord and saviour, I baptise you in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit.” 

“Oh.. Cool, cool.” Teal’c placed a firm hand on his back and Rodney yelped. “What are you doing!?” 

“I’m going to dunk you into the water.” 

“Oh, oh, right.” Rodney shook and took a deep breath. He looked at the big man frantic and afraid. Teal’c looked on impassively. The cold water hit his face, and when he arose out of it he was shaking like a drowned cat. 

The people on shore looked at eachother. 

“Is that it?” Ronon asked disappointed. 

“Yup.” Cameron answered. 

Vala tilted her head curious. “Does it really count though?” 

“What?” 

“Teal’c did the thing.” She pointed out. “He’s someone who isn't from that religion.. So does it actually count?” Vala raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s good enough.” Cameron huffed, wanting to get this over with. 

Teyla started clapping as the boys came back from the ocean, trying to be polite, then when no one joined her, she guilted everyone with her eyes until they did so awkwardly. 

“Yay.” Vala stated sarcastic, with a spinning finger wave. 

Rodney stalked onto shore, with Teal’c trailing behind. His skittish eyes searching the shore desperately. “Towel. Now.” He demanded as he snapped his fingers and brought his palm up open and waiting. Teyla handed him one and he started trying to dry off immediately. 

Vala brought Teal’c a towel and hugged his muscular arm impressed. “Need help, T?” She winked. 

“So, now what?” Teyla asked Rodney curious, wanting to be encouraging. 

“As soon as we get back to Atlantis, I’m going to sit in front of a heater for five hours straight and try not to die of hypothermia.” Rodney replied tiredly. 

Teyla smiled and gave him a supportive hug, placing her forehead to his. “Sounds like a plan.”


End file.
